The Door

Finding the Door

green doorHave you ever had one of those days when it doesn’t matter what you have planned; everything (at least in your own mind) seems to be stuck. That happened to me today. Even after I’d been up for two hours, I had not yet crossed off a single thing on my to-do list. Most noticeable about the situation is that this was is supposed to be my quilting day. The day I’ve spent a couple of weeks anticipating. I will admit, I’ve been feeling a little at odds the last few days. Not really sure which part of myself to listen to, the part that is frustrated and overwhelmed, or the part that wants to skip ahead and “get on with it already.”

So, when I checked my email and looked at a couple of the blogs I follow, I was surprised to find that the image that pulled me in was a door. The content of the blog wasn’t nearly as intriguing to me as the door itself. I felt like it was offering me a whole range of opportunities, if only I would open it. Since I am in the midst of a couple of blog posts that require more focus than I had at the moment, I decided to look for a door to express my thoughts and feelings. I spent more time with Google Images than was warranted by someone who is behind in projects, but I enjoyed looking at all the images of doors. They were inviting. Some had relatively easy access like the one here, and others had long stairways or narrow pathways leading to them. And while my foray into all of these door images did not move me toward completion of anything on my to-do list, I felt like I was responding to something deep within me.

Opening the Door

open doorWhile I was looking at all of these doors, I kept thinking, “When I find the right one, I’ll know it.” And that divided part of me knew that I was really looking for two different doors. One I would know when it was the right picture to save and put in this post, and the other was when I recognized the door I would be willing to open. That latter part of me was willing to stay with Google Images, because if I didn’t find the right one, I wouldn’t have to open it at all. I could just keep looking.

I suppose in many ways, that part of me just wanted a break. It was a little bit afraid of what might be behind the door. Not that there would much behind the door that would be a surprise, but things were a little disorganized in there. But with the ideas and projects stacked haphazardly in the space that lay just beyond the door, what if opening the door led to an avalanche too overwhelming for the limited energy and attention of the day?

Stepping Through

Something about my “door therapy” worked! It took another hour of making a few notes and saving some pictures, but I was able to find my way to the one that was right. I knew what project most needed my attention. I was able to devote myself to it and make progress beyond what I had hoped. I have a long way to go to get things sorted out so that I don’t trip myself up regularly, but to start, all I have to do is step through the door.