Great Expectations: Stream of Consciousness Saturday


Linda’s prompt for this weekend seems like perfect timing to me. So here goes.

Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “expect/unexpected.”  Use either or both words in your post, or simply base your idea on them. Have fun!

My return to the US has not been anything like what I expected. In both good ways and bad ways. I expected to be making lots of adjustments, but the sheer number of them and their ongoing mutations has been totally unexpected. I had hoped to have a sense of direction by now, but I don’t. I have general ideas, and I get through day to day, but I had hoped to be further down the road by now.

Even though I know that coming back home was a good decision, I find myself questioning it quite often. I have come to accept that I have expected too much–not so much from the situation, but from myself. I underestimated how much stress and adjustment was involved in such a major move. I underestimated the effects of that stress on the way I function and on the way that I build a new life, pretty much from scratch. I underestimated how much the uncertainty–while not unexpected, would play havoc with my day-to-day functioning.

house_w_skyBut I also never expected to be the recipient of so many gifts of friendship. People opening their hearts and homes to me. In fact, a couple of weeks ago, a very unexpected opportunity was offered to me. A friend who is moving into a house they are remodeling asked if I would like to live in the home they are vacating. There will be a few things for me to do as I help them get ready to put the house on the market, but it won’t go on the market for a while. In the meantime, I will have a place to settle instead of the musical houses that I’ve been doing for the last month. Not that I don’t thoroughly appreciate what everyone has been doing for me, but I have to admit that being able to be a little more self-contained will make things easier. I’m pretty good at remembering what needs to go with me every time I change residence, but there are many times that I would like to work on something at point A that is back at point B.

Of course, this isn’t a permanent home, but it provides an element of stability in a situation that is largely chaotic. This offer of a temporary home will provide a chance for me to catch my breath and have a place to call home. In addition, they will leave the piano in the house for now, which will also allow me to start teaching piano again–something I’ve been thinking about for a while now.

So not everything is as expected–not by a long shot, but many of the surprises are real gifts, often better than things I could have planned or “expected” on my own.


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12 comments on “Great Expectations: Stream of Consciousness Saturday

  1. Glad you have found some temporary stability, although we can expect plenty of surprises in life. Any illusions we may have of stability are subject to the whims of the unexpected! I hope you keep getting pleasant surprises:)

  2. Moving across the world is a huge adjustment so it’s not surprising you’re still finding your way. In happy you will finally be able to settle in some. God provides for our needs.

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